There seem to be a surprisingly large amount of females who identify as feminists who are against transgender women joining their “circles” or “groups.”
Some people may wonder why, and others may think, “Well, duh.”
I can think of many good, logical reasons for both sides to argue…
First, let’s go with the feminist side– and while we’re at it, we’ll include some stereotypes, because that’s what the feminists who are against trans women joining their precious “circles” seem to base their opinions on:
1. Trans women are not women. Why? Because they were born as men. They were born with penises. While some may not have penises anymore, they sure did, at some point. And their vaginas (if they have them)? Fake. Venus Envy, as they call it. They have transitioned, whether it be through hormones, surgery, or both, and appear to be females (if they’re lucky) to the general public, but they are not females. They grew up socialized male. If you grow up socialized as a male, it means that you are granted a certain power, a certain unearned confidence in who you are, simply because of the sex you were born into.
–Not the male’s fault, by any means–
Once you transition to the coveted womanhood, and you want to be part of the “girl’s club,” you think you can walk in, rub elbows with all the ladies and be the fag to the hag, right? You’re not a gay male, as many close to you may have assumed, but because of your previous effeminate male persona due to factors more complex and beyond your sexuality, and your interactions with society because of that persona you embraced, you think you can easily mingle with “the girls.”
Right?
No. While you may have, previously, been the cute guy that the girls loved because they did not feel threatened by your presence due to your lack of girlfriends or innate testosterone drive for constant sex, and therefore felt comfortable sharing your secrets and crushes and supreme dancing abilities in “the club,” you are no longer in the “safe zone.” Now you are the creepy guy, the one who is now suspected in the loss of the thong underwear of your female BFF when she last did laundry. You’re no longer the cute guy that everyone would assume would come out of the closet “soon enough” (because that’s just adorable, the cute gay guy who is too shy to come out); you’re the deviant, the potential pedophile (because all creeps/gay guys/loners are destined to become pedophiles, as we all know) who stole your undies and masturbated to them while watching Slovakian shemale porn.
You’re now a weirdo.
And not only are you a weirdo, you’re also suddenly not believed when you tell people that you have a serious problem. You were born in the wrong body. You were supposed to be a woman, but somehow, by some oopsie in The Almighty’s plan, you were born into this world with a penis. And you do all you can to live with that, and eventually, you realize that you can’t, any longer. You’re not the person that you were “supposed” to be. And finally, you acknowledge that, and you do what you can to remedy the situation. You play the cards you were dealt, and you see a doctor, therapist, endocrinologist, and you do what you can to finally be the person you feel you are, and make mind match body.
And you, finally okay– maybe not completely comfortable or content, but okay– with yourself, seek to find others who are like you. People who share your values and intrinsic belief systems. You find a group of feminists, on the web, because finding like-minded people is so much easier if done via the web, right?
You’re honest with them. You tell them that you are trans, and you don’t keep anything from them. You feel like they are people who should understand, because these people are women; a group of people who have been ostracized by humanity for centuries and have formed together to fight against it. Seems like something you’re fighting for, right?
No!
Why? Because you’re not a woman, like they are. You’re only pretending, wishing.
…Not only are you wishing, but you’re infiltrating. You’re attempting to take what is ours. As a person who is a female, we accept you. As a person who has lived their entire life socialized to believe that they are better than us and receive benefits and rewards for things they did not do, whether you know so or agree so or not, i.e., to be socialized as a male, we do not accept you. You are a traitor. Not only are you “really” a male, because no matter how much we sympathize with your transgender situation (gee, that must suck), we see that you have been a male and always will be, in the social aspect, but you are the sole reason why gender roles and gender discrimination still exist. You not only live by the gender binary; you encourage it. You insist that you are not male, but you are female, and that threatens the very core of our beliefs. Male and female binaries DO exist! You not only encourage it, but DEMAND it! You want to convince your peers, your doctors, your species, that there is a GIRL and a BOY. And that they are NOT the same. SHAME on you!
…And furthermore, you are NOT allowed to share our space. We are WOMEN, here by accident, through no fault of our own, hear us ROAR! Trannies who used to have penises, or who still do (why won’t you tell us?!), go away!
So let’s move on to #2.
Trans women who are lucky enough to avoid transgender prejudices and potential violent hate crimes because they “pass” well…
What are they perceived as by the general public, if not transsexuals/transgender/not the gender binary the rest of us “cis”gendered people are lucky enough to benefit from?
Women.
Right.
So… Why are we, as feminists, as women for the equality of men and women, people who want to be acknowledged as “people” instead of “women,” denying trans women the right to share “our” space?
Why?
Think of how you feel walking into a Home Depot or automotive section of your local Target or (god forbid) Wal-Mart. How the clerks react toward you. How insulted you feel when they either talk down to you, assuming you don’t know what you’re even there for, maybe you got lost on your way to the make-up aisle, or simply ignore you, regardless of the fact that your parents taught you everything there is to know about auto mechanics and you just want to be shown the correct aisle for the right battery for your Honda, because the store is too concerned about putting bread and milk so far from each other that you have to walk across the store a million times, buying much more than you came in for, that they forget how to organize the car battery area.
…And you wait, and they ignore you. They assume you’re wandering around, waiting for your boyfriend in the next aisle, who is certainly knowing what they’re doing there. Probably buying a new stereo system, probably being helped immediately by the stereo guy, paid to patrol that section of the store. You’re just walking around, waiting, bored. Transfixed by the pretty colors and pink stuff.
And you eventually just go find it, whatever you’re looking for, without their help, because you’re just used to it. You’re used to the ignorance, and you don’t even notice it anymore. You don’t pay any attention to the random employees anymore because you are tired of being talked down to, and you’re tired of being ignored.
You go buy your stupid car battery, and you put it in yourself, and you don’t think anything of it.
Well?
That’s the same way that your friend, the trans girl, feels. Because people think she’s a woman, the same as you are.
Well, isn’t she?
She may have been born and raised as a male, learned how to replace car batteries and knows how to find them, but not only is she trying to survive in this world (same as you are), she’s trying to do this while taking a voluntary step down the proverbial ladder. Remembering her former male privilege, suddenly understanding how humiliating it can be but simultaneously mentally high-fiving her new “sisters” for dealing with it every day, for all of their lives. Hardly understanding how they can put up with it all the time, while she had no idea, when she was a male. Now she gets it. She’s one of us.
She is going through exactly what you want all of your sisters to STOP going through. She wants the same liberation you want. Why are you denying her?
[...] Choreographed Cacophanies placed an observative post today on Radical Feminists vs. Transgender Women [...]
Thank you for writing this.
One frustrating thing I’ve dealt with when conversing with those radical feminists who are transphobic is that they’re privileged enough to ignore their own privilege, and ignore the fact that when it comes to a conversation between cis women and trans women, that the trans women are at a disadvantage and vulnerable to oppression.
There’s also a lot about how trans women experience male privilege that needs unpacking, and I’ve wanted to write about it at length on my blog. It’s . . . well, some trans women end up benefitting more than others, but even then it’s more complicated than the male privilege that cis men receive.
Anyway, none of that’s a criticism of your post, I’m just reminded of things I have to write.
Thank you especially for acknowledging that society no longer extends male privilege to trans women.
Admittedly, I used to think along the same lines as some of the radical feminists when it came to trans women in feminist spaces, but then I kept reading and hearing about more experiences, and it just stopped making sense. I look forward to reading what you were outlining! I’m glad you liked my post.
well said.
This is really, really spectacular. You clarify an issue that, despite the fact that it’s actually very simple, seems to have become almost unfathomably murky for some. *Thank you!*
As a fully passing transwoman, I completely agree: I know what it’s like to go into a mechanic, the auto section, a sporting goods store, or a video game store. Being talked down, the kind of condescending voice that I wouldn’t even use when talking to an infant. I know how scary it is to walk alone at night, and what it’s like to have your opinions ignored at work.
I feel it keenly – male privilege is just as oppressive to me as to any woman I know. It strips my self-worth away, and then throws it into a trash compactor. I’d absolutely like to be a part of the feminist community, but you’re right: it’s incredibly difficult when I come up against the attitudes that you’ve so aptly described.
Bravo! Nobody could have said it better.
[...] to, to welcome, to engage with, to just include. [author’s emphasis] I’m disappointed this discussion even has to take place—Wow! Trans woman are nearly human, nearly entitled to civil rights! [...]