Seriously?

I’m about ready to bitch-slap the goddamn internet.

The feminist blogosphere has been ripe with controversy and drama over the past week or so, and I must say, I am quite done participating (if you can even call my little-more-than-lurking “participation”).

The whole deal, if you don’t feel like reading all of that obnoxious internet-drama nonsense, is that there was this post on Feministing about new legislation to make it easier for transgender and transsexual women to use women’s public restrooms. The post was fine, but the comment thread went nuts with people talking about the remote possibility that a non-trans man could dress up as a woman in order to gain access to women’s restrooms* and molest, rape, or harass women, and otherwise invade women’s private space. The problem that trans women were having was not necessarily with the (unfortunately expected) unwelcome, transphobic comments, but the fact that the moderators of the blog allowed the comments to continue, and derail the discussion. They decided that those types of comments “silenced” the voices of transgender people and that both Feministing and Feministe had a history of disrespecting and silencing transgender individuals with that type of non-moderation.

The other problem people seemed to have was the tendency for a post about trans issues, such as the bathroom post, were often inundated with comments along the lines of, “What does ‘cis’ mean?” and “why do you feel like you need to be the opposite sex?” If anyone is unfamiliar with blog-speak, this is referred to as “derailing,” i.e., a (possibly, and often, well-meaning) privileged person taking the focus away from the topic at hand in order to make the oppressed educate the privileged, when the privileged should be educating themselves.

I don’t disagree. In fact, it’s blogs like these that have made me more aware of the social privileges that I do have, and how that’s influenced my perspective and behavior thus far, and recognizing them has made me much better at critical thinking and looking at our society through a much-needed, updated lens.

On the other hand, these blogs, and these bloggers, have a tendency to act as though anyone telling a story, forming an opinion, writing their own blog or post or participating in any discussion is exercising their own privilege and being racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, misogynist, ableist, etc. and so forth, if it involves an issue concerning a group over whom the have any kind of privilege. It makes me wonder if one is not allowed to have an opinion about anything if they are not a disabled, non-white, overweight, lesbian, transgender, poor, female prostitute.

I mean, come on, now.

I used to blog quite frequently about transgender issues, even though I was not trans myself. I did not think that by being in a relationship with a trans person that I had the right to appropriate his identity, nor did I think that I knew everything there was to know about being transgender or feel I had some right to speak on behalf of people who identified as such. And in being accused of being transphobic and needing to “unpack” my “cis-privilege” twice in one day, I’m kind of doing the opposite of what you’d expect, or even what’s intended: I’m starting to think that I am not just missing something, but that, instead, the internet is full of people ready and waiting to jump at anyone who uses an incorrect semi-colon (or, god forbid, forgets one), let alone has an opinion that doesn’t align properly with the blog’s established group-think.

So yes, Voz_Latina, I’ll “Boycott Feminsting and Feministe.” I’ll also boycott your blog, which I’ve never bothered to look at in the first place until I went to go steal your banner. And all the rest of the hyper-blaming and antagonizing blogs in the feminist blogosphere, along with the rest of the holier-than-though elitist pricks that want to write about how they are free of prejudice and privilege, but are so quick to rip even the most eager-to-learn commenters and other people a new one for displaying even the most unintended, remotest bit of newbie privilege that they are very quick to correct. I might have been turned on to feminism a good couple years before I was if it hadn’t been for asshole commenters in threads like that, where I was the n00b.

…Who am I kidding? I’m still going to check Feministe every day. I have never really frequented Feministing, anyway, but it’s like a high-school version of feminism, at least where comments are concerned, so I probably won’t start an allegiance anytime soon, regardless.

–Fuck that. If I boycott anyone? It’s Cara. I’ve never much cared for her writing in the first place and can’t help but read every article she writes like I’m listening to a hyperactive, insecure bully on the playground in 6th grade, and essentially only read Feministe because I’m a huge fan of Jill’s writing. I was vaguely annoyed when Cara became a regular contributor on Feministe, so now I’ll just scroll right past her nonsense and feel like I’m… making… a point?

What the hell ever.

*Are we kidding ourselves? You think trans women don’t already use women’s public bathrooms? What everyone is forgetting to say is that this whole issue simply means that if you look like a chick, you can use the women’s bathroom, but if you look kinda manly, you don’t get to. Everyone is forgetting to address the real issue at hand, which is, at it’s core, discriminating against people who don’t “pass” as the (socially accepted version of the) gender they are trying to portray, or identify as, and using transgender women as a convenient scapegoat.